Here’s a positive update: I’m starting to feel better. I got the two initial doses, and my last shot was January 6th of this year. I’m 3.5 months off now and I can tell it’s starting to leave my system. The beginning was absolute hell for me. I’d been actively suicidal for the past few months because of how horrible it felt. I was spending all day in bed browsing this forum and a suicide forum. Day in and day out, was complete agony.
I couldn’t think, could barely speak, had no energy. I couldnt enjoy movies or music. My reflexes and motor skills slowed way down and made me suck at videogames and I got no pleasure from playing them anyway. Absolutely nothing in life could bring me joy. If I had emotions, I would literally cry all day if I could. But I couldnt even do that. I had no emotions. The sexual side effects hit me hard too. My dick wouldn’t work at all, it was impossible to get a boner and I had no sex drive anyway. I gained weight and started developing breast tissue.
A few weeks ago, the extreme suicidal feelings began to subside as the symptoms began to ease up a bit. Before, I was absolutely convinced I had permanent brain damage and wouldn’t heal, but I’m starting to improve. At this point I can tell I’ll heal if I keep waiting.
Anhedonia is starting to get better. I get natural boners everyday now and I laugh and enjoy music everyday. I’m also enjoying videogames again. My attention span is getting better so I’m starting to enjoy TV shows and movies again too. I can also feel the effects of weed, although it doesnt feel as good as it used to yet. I tried adderall the other day and I was able to mildly feel that as well. Still can’t feel alcohol at all which really pisses me off lol. But I imagine at six months I’ll have huge improvements.
